i need to think about the things that i should actually be prioritising. For example; i have an online shop that is currently falling to pieces because i never give it any attention, i don’t take on extra shifts at work because i want to go shopping, i would rather drive around and waste petrol (which costs far too much) than sit at home and do school work, i have avon books sat at home waiting to be distributed that i can never “find the time to do” and i have a gym kit that still has the tags on.
what the fuck is wrong with me hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sometimes I feel that I go to so much effort in making sure my skin is clear, that my fringe curves properly, that my nails are painted, that I smell nice and my body is fresh all for nothing
I assumed that one can only become addicted to substances.
I know you can become dependent on drinks, on cigarettes, on drugs. I know that people try to withstand the pain in their veins when they’re not fed what they’re dependent on for as long as they can. until they fail, until they can’t stand the devil swimming in their veins. They top themselves up with a bottle, a packet or a needle and all is fine until they grow hungry for it again.
But what happens when you suffer withdrawal symptoms from a person? What about when you become dependent on somebody’s company, reliant on the feeling that they provide even when you can only hear their voice? You can’t bottle them up or seal them in a little plastic bag. How can you deal with the pain knowing that you have to wait so long until you can relieve yourself of the devil then?